tories ... i can handle it ...
 it,s a gripper in or out
  who,s the neighbour ( faber faber )on the magic roundabout
but the libber women,s fibber  help the waged it,s . . .. . been said
make mine yah yah spliff and tonic   it,s a scandal two page spread
because the lady,s not for turning in the forest round right round
unless the weasel,s wobble wobble fox it,s said has gone to ground
cause cecil,s smarmy .... tony,s charmy immigration,s in the sun
jane seymour you can,t be sure two ed,s it,s said is . . . best than one
but it,s so hung . . the sock,s well  wrung . . simple minds it,s reel to reel
lorna doom she so did swoonremember . . . . little david steel
but late at night it,s not "a,wight" behind the hedgerows it,s a ghoul
a fraud applaud a points been scored ( just don,t go swimming in the pool )
cause tories . . . . i can handle it . . . it,s a gripper in or out
  who,s the neighbourneighbour ( faber faber )
on the magic roundabout

 a corner to dub tt,s dub a dub dub
beach balleen comes through the door
so get in the queue ( well she think,s shes so phew ) how many points to the score
but a large bow that,s rant and she,s just so hogpantsbut it,s not time to get crude
till "whaley impaley meet rhyming lord aley"time for a quick interlude
byt (whaley impaley ?) a comet as haley its time to run run for your life
they say that a "hogpants" is only for x,mas in truth she,ll end up as your wife
and bunny me gunny she,s no way a honey same bar but in far enough places
an intro to go go he,s so in the know know ( you miserable basket as cases )
but impaley whaley on bathscale so scaley a chime it,s so turkey at all
she,s not just so flab she,s all well known to blab
it once went round all hideous hall

pat-o-man pat-o-man
 nutty as fruitcake ammke me a nice cup of tea
woofters and tweeters ( all gormenghast creepers ) it,s said the thelady did flee
as talking of gladrags and hideous old hags only a few out of phwoar
as cruising for bruising but oh how amusing a pile of mags on the floor
and as i did flick through oh how i could see through
things seemed to come to a head
and is that a chicky that i see before me "miss staples" shes all centrespread
and greasy as mittums for "big um as tittums" a room for the night and carress
cause a one night stand would have been so grand when it came so to time to undess
but "hotlips" v "botlips" it,s "chicky as choplips"but theres a time and a place
it was a present all wide angled and cresent a shame about the face
 but "hotlops" v "botlips" those "chicky as choplips taken for a ride or
  or maybe he,ll now tell us all his caring and sensitive side
( he,d like to teach the world to ming but it,s whose lairs hairs my ding a ling )
and it,s all so jeux sans frontier
when it,s peter plays and it,s live  ???