a classicist a shopping listbut is it snobbery
but is it time to get aboard the mince train robbery
it was a fright on t,shirt night frankenstein went down
but oxygen a  rendezvous "the boy,s are back in town"
but caught off guard (a jokers card)  a secret garden ... show
all bkini .... undie seemy ... maidens in a row
till it,s choose me ... or excuse me...off . .  shes getting changed
but no mufty crufty tufty .... tug of the deranged ??
or no john she,ll get it on if she,s "hello sailor" paid
that,s as frank as "franky mincter" on gay parade
but flabs for slabs .. a secret garden sectre patio
but memories are made of tease the secret garden show

a mayfair parade as the joker gets laid,
 he,s just so rock as a hudson
a action of man ans it,s all in the can in no way all "christopher gaygun"
and no playing of games with all karry the lames and other all geeky as so hum,s
and when he,s around with his ear to the groundwe,re all just the best of good chum chums
and p p penquin and it,s all mannequin he,s no way all learned and gay
a quack as professor who,s no way cross dresser who,s penquins anyway
and sinking of ships neans it,s time for some quips no time for those argy boy hum hums
an action of man and it,s all in the can "bang bang bang" "christopher rayguns"
but an exocet strike and it,s all ride my bike make sunshine in light of the day
an on off romance he,s in with a chance "je t,aime oui je t,aime" all the way
so batman to robin it,s time to get nobbing because at the end of the day
a tale of two chrisses and pantomime hisses whose legs were all spread anyway
but hyacinth chuckit he,s sick in a bucket a wet t shirt night and some puns
he,s all such a man when the actions a  can a "christopher-legs-all-asplay-guns"
but dreams of romance will she lead the last dancewhilst reading "the joy of all joys"
"you,re not going to leave me here all alone, alone her with all of theses boy,s ?"
but "hotcha" you "gotcha" she,s no way all "potcha"a room with a hell of a view
and spare the details of all high street retailsbut you know that it,s all true
as action at stations for good as vibrations he,s no way all "desperate as dan"
he,s "christopher ray-guns" or "legs-all-asplay-guns
and it was all there in the can

rumours abound
 from a heart that is reeling
and the noise it doth come from above through the ceiling
as hear the cry and hear the call (a hapless fly that,s wall to wall)
a cosmic theory one to query  in these times of now or never
it makes you feel a squeal to squeal "you,re in the room with them together"
as ironic not plutonic  like  cabbage patch that,s plowed
a bud to bud and such a stud who
must be just so well endowed